"1832* - I feel so trapped at home right now, seems like the world is falling apart and ...

"1832* - I feel so trapped at home right now, seems like the world is falling apart and ...

Dear Blueno

March 28, 2020

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"1832* - I feel so trapped at home right now, seems like the world is falling apart and there's nothing I can do to stop it. Every night I ferociously scroll through the news, searching for some sort of relief but only succeeding in digging myself further into this hole. Even at dinner, all my parents do is read off the headlines and talk about our increasing restrictions on what food we can get. I can't escape it, and moreover, I feel guilty for wanting to escape it. If I turn my head the other way and just try and pretend that everything is okay then I'll only make the situation worse in the long run. Yet I can't even do anything for my own family, let alone affect things on a regional, national, or global scale. It feels like the damage has already been done, and no matter how quickly a vaccine, public health initiatives, economic stimulus, or whatever solution is being presented, the consequences that we all will bear is already catastrophic. I'm not even someone who will be affected by virus the worst, none of my family is at risk, and we have some financial stability. But each creeping article about the collapse of the healthcare system, the fall of the dollar, or even the total breakdown of society has seemingly found a way to wriggle itself into my mind.

At one point, reading the news had filled me with passion for change, with anger at the system. But now I just feel defeated, and afraid. Everyone is talking about what this crisis has exposed in our system and how this all needs to change, but with this crisis it has become clear to me that the system is far stronger than I ever thought. "